The Adventures of Fred (Part II)

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The Adventures of Fred (Part II)
By Nick Jurkowski
When we last left him, our fearless protagonist had just stepped into luxury – a luxury to which he had always been morally opposed. Seated in the spacious limousine sent to pick him up from the airport, Fred’s limousine adventure continues.
The limousine smoothly glided onto the street adjacent to the parking garage. In spite of himself, Fred stretched into the luxurious interior of the Hummer Limousine, enjoying the space after the cramped plane trip – and space was certainly not something this vehicle was lacking. He looked around at the various features (the flat screen TVs, the fibre-optic lighting that wound around the interior, etc.) The air-conditioners pumped a steady but gentle stream of cool air into his compartment – a welcome relief from the balmy Miami afternoon.
As he sat in the limousine, Fred reflected on his long-held beliefs in the evils of limousines. They might be large and needlessly opulent, but to their credit, they are comfortable, impressive vehicles. Perhaps if he inspected the features of this vehicle, his views of the wastefulness of limousines would be confirmed. He took a look at the stereo/CD/DVD system. Quite impressive…suddenly his eyes darted to the CDs placed conspicuously near the stereo system – THE COMPLETE COLLECTED ANDY WILLIAMS! But how did they know? Of course! The wall-eyed Turk at the Laundromat! The man had handed Fred a survey and told him it was for market research. Since he was just sitting there waiting, Fred filled it out as a diversion. The consulting firm clearly knew how to do their research, and Fred was impressed. But if they knew about Andy Williams, perhaps they….YES! On the other side of CD/DVD, he found the complete “Riley, Ace of Spies.” He loaded a CD into the player, relaxing to the dulcet tones of “Moon River.” Though he hated to admit it, this limousine had started to grow on him.
Fred did his best to readopt his scowl and reflect on his long held objections to limousines. Still…he found his mind wandering to sound system and DVD player. He looked out the tinted windows as his vehicle cruised through the streets of Miami. People were pointing in admiration and awe at his vehicle. They were impressed by Fred’s ride – and by extension, Fred himself! Of all the times that others have pointed at him, this is the first that it was because of admiration. This newfound pride was one of the most powerful forces working to banish his long-held beliefs about limousines. He allowed himself to turn the stereo system back on and listen to Williams’ melodious crooning. As he listened, he sank into a relaxed daze while watching one of the four lava lamps included in the vehicle. Truly, this was a place of wonder!
Fred contacted his driver, enquiring about the length of their journey. The driver responded with a curt “Twenty minutes, sir.” Twenty minutes. That was an excellent length of time to experience all that this vehicle had to offer. Though his impression of limos had already started to sway away from his initial preconceived notion, Fred was determined to be scientific. He would see if such a mode of transportation was all it was cracked up to be, or if was merely another wasteful manifestation of consumer culture. Fred determinedly set down to the task of testing all of the limousines accoutrements. To be continued….