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Guy’s Night Out in Southern Florida

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Guy’s Night Out in Southern Florida
 
There are many reasons for it: A bad breakup, a good breakup, an unscheduled career change, or a takeover by a hostile foreign power. Your motivations are immaterial, the time is clearly right for a
 
GUYS’ NIGHT OUT.
 
Lucky for you, Miami is a perfect destination for a guys’ (or girls’) night. There are hundreds of clubs, bars, restaurants, and malt shoppes, all with the same stated goal: making sure that you(personally) have a good time. As with most events of this nature, there are three steps to success.
 
STEP 1: The Planning Stage
 
This stage is one of the most critical, because it can mean the difference between bumping and grinding with the flowers of Miami’s nightlife and getting in a drunken fistfight across the state in a Hardee’s parking lot. First of all, decide how you are going to get around. If you have a friend that is a Mormon or Muslim (or otherwise doesn‘t drink), the designated driver question is solved automatically (though they might, at some point, get tired of driving your drunken hides everywhere).
 
If you have no tea- totaling friends, things get a little more difficult. There can be a certain charm getting progressively more intoxicated while alternately walking and riding around on public transportation, but my favorite option is getting a limousine to chauffeur you home, as you can’t beat the luxury or selection of vehicles (Millenium Limo has 9 different models of Hummer limousine alone). This option is somewhat contingent on how many members of your party are planning on going home with strange women. It’s no fun to ride back in a limousine by yourself (naturally, an elegant solution is to bring your companions for a ride in the limousine too).
 
After the question of transportation has been answered, you need to figure some destinations. Spontaneity is naturally a staple of the guys’ night out, and a lot of the bars you’ll go to will probably be decided on the spot. Clubs in Miami often have such outrageous cover charges, and clever “theme” nights that you may want to plan out what clubs you’ll be going to in advance. It would be a shame to pay $40 a head in cover charges only to find yourselves in a club playing only Lawrence Welk for the night (this does happen).
 
Additionally, check out places besides bars and clubs that you might want to visit. Starting with an evening sporting event is always a good plan, as south Florida has any number of teams to choose from (Panthers and Marlins being my favorites – plus, beer gardens are always cool). Another option is one of the many outdoor events that are constantly going on in Miami. For example, OLA Steak sometimes hosts an outdoor pig roast (complete with apple in the mouth) – and let’s face it, nothing says “manly” like spitting a large mammal and slow roasting it. Other events include concerts, beach parties, poker games – you name it. Check out the calendar at
miami event guide and you’re bound to find something.
 
STEP 2: The Execution
 
If you’ve done this right, the details will be a little hazy.
 
STEP 3: Recovery
 
Every good guys’ night will require at the very least, half a day of recovery. This means that you should have planned the night for a day when no one has to be at work early the following morning. Also, remember that the second best way to avoid a hangover is to drink a quart of water right before bed. The best way is obvious, but not as fun.